Suggest  the application of the following screening  to any political material, oral or written.

-- Forward-looking statements generally can be identified by the use of forward-looking terminology such as "trends," "assumptions," "target," "guidance," "outlook," "opportunity," "future," "plans," "goals," "objectives," "expectations," "near-term," "long-term," "projection," "may," "will," "would," "could," "expect," "intend," "estimate," "anticipate," "believe," "potential," "regular," "should," "projects," "forecasts," or "continue" (or the negative or other derivatives of each of these terms) or similar terminology and include the expected effects of operational improvement initiatives.

 

Last of the Big Spenders

As I started to pull out of the restaurant parking space, a senior citizen driving an older Buick crept to a halt and stopped almost behind me.
The driver s l o w l y left his vehicle. Continuing the same gait, ambled to the middle of the vacant parking spot next to us. With great effort the gentleman
s
t
o
o
p
e
d
down
and picked up

a dime!


g s l o w l y he reversed the process and drove away.
n
i
s
i
r
A


He probably recovered his tip money he had left in the restaurant.

TRANSITION

A grandson recently gave us the Marx Brothers DVD 'Night at the Opera'. That set off a chain reaction of memories. 'Back then' it was a standard expression to extend the right hand and flick the last three fingers like Groucho flicking the ashes from his cigar. Today the motion has degraded to the index finger.

The name 'Marx Brothers' also brought back a family memory. My maternal grandparents saw a Marx Brothers movie one afternoon; my parents the following night. Later on my grandmother asked my mother "Did Harpo play 'Silver Threads among the Gold' when you saw it?" "I'm sure he didn't change a note," my mother replied.

I thought that conversation was the most stupid thing I had ever heard until my mother gave an explanation. She said that before movies stage plays were presented a week at a time by touring companies. When there was music songs were often changed from one presentation to the next.

Incidentally my grandmother had a first cousin who was on the stage with such a 'touring company'. While on stage he used the name of Will Bingham. I Googled him and found that he toured in Ohio in the early 1900's.

I remember going to the "silent" movies with the dialog printed on the screen. One highlight day the curtains closed in front of the screen; the theater went completely dark; lights slowly came up; the curtains parted revealing the screen. An actor was standing there on the screen and he said OUT LOUD: "Hello, I am Conrad Nagle, and soon this the-ay-ter will have motion pictures in talk and sound." I believe history will show that I was constipated for a week.

Those were great times -1927-I was in the fourth grade, Lindy flew the Atlantic, Babe Ruth hit sixty home runs, and movies started to talk.

And to the one who gave us the DVD : Hope you will see as many changes - most for the better - as I have.

The Snow Slide

One winter day large snow flakes floated lazily down to earth. It was not long before they were no longer floating but pelting. To the oldsters the storm was a 'noreaster' and we were in for it. After two days about the length of the yardstick measured the snow's depth.

My father and I helped my grandfather to shovel the snow from the walks. Our shoveling had created a large pile of snow to the right of the front porch steps. Looking up, Grandpa noticed the snow on the slanting slate roof over the porch. He decided it was high time that he clean the snow off the porch roof. Armed with the snow shovel he climbed the stairs to the second floor. Opening a window he leaned out and started to push the snow off the roof with the shovel.

Next Grandpa sat on the sill and leaned forward to get more leverage. Then the shout "Lookout below - I'm coming down." He was sliding feet first down the slate roof into space, and landed in the piled snow.

Arising from the snow pile he retrieved the snow shovel and headed into the house. As he started back up the stairs, grandmother looked up from her crocheting and said "I thought you were upstairs shoveling the snow off the roof?"

"I was - I certainly was," he replied and continued on up the stairs with the shovel in hand.

Footnotes on a Shoehorn

When I say "Footnotes on a Shoehorn" I'm revealing my understanding of music. Thankfully understanding and enjoyment are filtered in different parts of the brain. Within my trivia file there is the retrievable information that music notes are patterned on a staff composed of lines and spaces. The lines are Every Good Boy Does Fine and the spaces are FACE. If pressed I might find a few more terms but not for everyday use.

At one time it was foreordained that I should play the banjo-mandolin because a deceased uncle had played one. I had lessons with a musician who had learned several instruments while growing up in Italy. His main gig was conducting a local symphonic orchestra. He smoked stinking El Cheapo cigars and used the soggy end to point to various notes on the sheet music that I had misinterpreted; often gooey remains drooped from his lower lip; a sight to gag a maggot. I did discover that I could break the strings by striking them on the support edge of the piano keyboard.

During the third, and last lesson, he screeched :"That note has a sforzando!"

I did not know then what 'sforzando'. Hoped it wasn't catching. Didn't see anything except some doodling over the note. Ink blot? Could have been a dripping from his stinking wet cigar butt for all I knew.After looking up the word I still did not and don't understand it. However, that was a happy day. He told me after he collected the fifty cents for the lesson that he was no longer giving lessons on the mandolin - it really wan't his 'spashalty'. My mother had musical ability and she had already recognized that I was hiding behind the door when music talent was passed out.


Once in my grandmother's wonderful attic I found a cabinet with my mother's piano sheet music. Heavy stuff - bunch of foreign names - lots of black black notes. Her playing days ended when she cut a tendon on the middle finger - right hand. After the healing process she was never able to bend that finger.
What happened to the banjo-mandolin is blank. The genes skipped a generation and are with our oldest son.

There was a popular song along the way "Johnny One-Note". I don't even have that and wouldn't recognize it if it bit me. My friend Zim dared me to attend choir practice at the church one Wednesday night. He had me stand next to him in the bass section. The choir director, Pops, was the music teacher in high school but he was fortunate in that I was never included in his schedule.

Sheet music was passed among the choir members, Pops slapped his hands together once and all (minus one) started humming the scale. Then he asked the
choir to hum the music on the sheet he had passed out. Following the humming he got down to business and the choir broke out into song. I was doing great - lip- synching all the way. He had the choir start over again and then clapped his hands together. The music stopped and he said loudly: "Basses, that third note is a sforzando! Let me hear it." I was trapped. How does one lip-synch something he still couldn't identify?

After choir practice Zim and I were talking. Pops approached us and suggested that I find something else to do around the building during the practice hour. His hearing must have been great. Even my lip-synching was in monotone! In spite of that failure I still find myself lip-synching in church, at ball games and in other situations where one is supposed to break out in song. What a break that is for the listening audience.